let me start off by telling yall i love you, and jay i wanna sit down and talk with you about today….   SO much has happened today, this has been the best day of my life outside of salvation.  I want to blog all of the things that God has been doing in me over the past week but i don’t think that my keyboard could handle that much typing and you probably break.  So today has been huge, i completely broke things off with “the girl” and had a great quiet time, my heart was joyful through the toughness of the brek off although this was the girl that i had been planning to marry for the last 7 years, wrote my first song, and don’t worry dw and stix, yall can be my back up when the cd drops.  Then went out during quiet time to look out point???? the place on 17 right off the causeway, got into the word, nothing profound, just sat in the glory that He has made.  Afterwards talked to a completely random stranger at this completley random place at this random time, and it turned out to be i beleive a planned time that God would use this complete stranger, he ended up being a retired “assembly of God” pastor who had heard of the Chapel and asked me about it and that started a 2 hour conversation with this guy and i poured out my heart to him and he gave me some great wisdom about the things going on in my life.  Then shorly after went to to stix at elevate and met mark fritchmend??? This is by far the best part of the day, during worship i talked to God and he gave me my new name, His name, he said Jamie, your will be called my burdened worshipper, its alot deeper and has greater meaning to me then it sounds like but i cried in during the singing time of the service for the first time in a few years.  I feel so greatful and joyful for this day, i hope that i can have this kind of outlook everyday for the rest of my life.  So sorry for my lack of interesting discussion with this post but i think that the post that i just worte is even better then dicussion, once again i love you guys its 1228 and i am gonna hit the sack may God give you all rest in Him tonight!

Due to injury and a lack of a working computer I’m back, still not feeling great, but feeling alot better, about to do something big, not really a whole lot to write about just been doing alot of talking to God and reading, like i said though i am about to do something big, or better yet HE is.  Anyhow just wanted to make a post for my 4 or 5 fans out there, i promise more to come later i love you guys but fortunatley i love him more he he peace out

kinda frustrating day, word was insan;ey busy which is good but it makes this young buck very tired, started reading blue like jazz again, this will be the forth or fifth time, but before you think that something is wrong with me let me preface it with the fact that the furtherest i’ve gotten is chapter two, thoughts on the book so far….?  I love seeing other people veiws and walks and differnt view points on things, Donald does a great job of coloring a picture for you as if you are there with him when the ‘tramadic’ things happen to him that have help mold and sahpe the person that he has become, just like him my dad wasn’t in the picture for most of my life, i mean he was there put din’t provide much support other then my monetary needs as a child and he even failed at that some do to his drug habits, i can remember hittine my first homerun in little league, it was a rainy night and it was drizzling just like it still does, not enought to really do anthing but wet the ground i remember the bat the swing the ball just bearly jumping over the fence the feeling of excitement, which soon fled from my thoughts when i realized that no one was there to see it other then the two teams.  Maybe it had to do with the weather conditions but i beleive that it had more to do with selfish ambitions that we all still struggle with, God has made my selfishness very evident in my life the last year and a half or so, even down to the girl… which i am sure you all know of whom i am speaking but i realized that even with that my love for her was most of the time slefish ambitions of my own, what can i get out of this, if i love her more and more then she has to love me more and more right, if i wash her care she will appriciate me more, the list goes on forever, the bible says  that here is no greater love then this, laying your life down for a friend, i would have died for her almost instantly for her without a doubt but looking back at it now i relized that my thought process was even scewed then, i would want her to be safe, at least i would like to bevieve that but as i look deeper into the situation i realize that i reall would want her to feel indebted to me and almost have this feeliing of guilt that her time with me could have, and should have been spent with me a little better.  As you can tell i am very sick and twisted, if i believed in it i might even go pay to see i physciatrist but i know that talking or should i say writing about it ease the hurt that i have endured over her and with Christs help i can overcome anyhting.  So this is day one of of Bule like Jazz, what does day two intail???? i’ll keep yall posted

Well i figure that this would be the best place to start….. usually its at the begining but under these conditions well here we go…..

The newest of my thoughts have provoked me into fasting from tv and video games and to concentrate my time on reading THE WORD and other books with spiritual significants, as a young single in the area thats about all there is to do, i find that alot of myslef becoming more and more frustrated with God because he has put me in a place right now where none of the “mentors” in my life are very available to me.  The last time tat i met with my spiritual captin he informed me that i was about to enter a place in my life where outside growth or to put it in his words “visual growth” will stop occuring, he used a great analogy with a tree to explain it to me, he said that he was told this himself and few years ago and he is about to come out on the other side stronger then ever so hey i guess there is still hope ha ha.  Anyway the anology is a trees life cicle, in the spring, summer and fall seasons the tree continues to grow bigger and bigger, visual growth is very evident and then in the winter season the growth stops outwordly and everything is concentrates in the roots and in the branches and trunk, the strengthen and solidify and are able to take more abuse from the weather, or in our case the world, the leaves begin to fall of outward color of the tree changes a little, but all of this occurs to that the tree in the upcoming seasons will be able to support more and more outward growth.  At this moment i am in the middle of a book by Rob Bell called The Velvet Elvis.  The book is interesting to say the least, it discusses the way that the culture as a whole has manage to make a definate shape out of God and just as the church continues to reform God does also so makeing a shape of God is impossible and when we do this we are miising the whole point of what God os trying to do with us. At the start of this book it relates our spirtual lives to a trampoline and how we feed off of one another’s faith to grow higher just like when you bounce with another person if you do it just right you can jump higher and go further, there are some other anlogies such as the neeting around the outside of the trampoline and its springs and so forth but the “double bounce” was the most relevant to me bacause i have experienced it when i was younger on my own trampoline with my older brother.  Getting a little long winder so thats all for now ___:)